“I Really Don't Care For People!!”

There I said it….

You’re probably thinking “Well That’s Not Very Nice” but before passing judgment, that's how I feel sometimes towards some people. Now how I act is entirely different. Some may say it's  hypocritical to not like someone but act as I do. 

You must agree, some people are really just hard to like, either they are belligerent or their personality traits grate against ours.

Sometimes people's ethics and morals make it difficult for us not to judge them. If I don't like them I don't want to listen to them, nevertheless I still have to work with them, meet with them, do business with them and socialize with them. I must help keep them safe, I want to like them. 

So here is the problem “I don’t care but I want to” It would be deceitful for me to fain care, so I must really genuinely care. I must find ways to develop and show honest affection for them.

Now “Honest” that’s the hard part,  if I don't care for them. I must get myself to the point where I do care.  If I'm going to be genuine it must change me, but how?

Emotional Investment is the primer that breaks the code to genuine care. What is “Emotional Investment”? 

Emotional Investment is the act of investing in another person through the exchange of personal and emotionally connected experiences, activities etc…This act of investing requires deliberate effort and preparation.

So what do we do?

Well it’s not rocket science; you have to get to know the person, but you don't go right in and start asking lots of questions. Because you don't want them to feel like they're being interrogated. I find it's best to open up things about myself; I share with them my life, and my joys. I have discovered that offering up personal information that is emotionally connected shows the person I really want to get to know them. Its quid pro quo - you give, they give etc. Here are a few pointers.

• Pick a time that is comfortable for them, maybe at their workstation or on a break.
• Don't force the issue as it may take a few tries to get a response.
• Make sure your body is not positioned above them. Like standing up while they're sitting down.
• Make sure nothing is between you and them like a desk or table.
• Make sure your body language is open, hands in view empty and arms open not crossed.
• If they come to you and speak to you, stop what you're doing turn towards them and listen. Don't continue to face your computer because it sends the message that you don't have time to listen.
• If there on the phone, don't wait around come back later.
• Eye contact is important, but don't get into a staring contest.
• When it’s your turn to talk compare your life to theirs by using some of their own words, doing this shows you were listening.
• For obvious reasons never talk about others good or bad it's gossiping.
• If something seems unbelievable and you suspected to be untrue don't challenge it give them the benefit of the doubt. We have all that interesting lives and many of us have had remarkable experiences that are hard to believe.
• Tilting the head and nodding is a good indicator that you're listening.
• Lastly remember it's likely that they've already picked up on the vibe that you not really fond of them, so they may come off as a bit skeptical.

So while making it safe all the while remain patient and understanding. Here is just some of the type of questions you might want to ask:

• I grew up in Oklahoma; I remember one time fishing with my grandfather, before he passed away we got very close I still miss him terribly. Where is your hometown?


• I guess that's why like to fish so much, it reminds me of my time with him. Do you have any hobbies?

I guess the great thing about this process is that it doesn't require a lot of effort, it just requires action.

Remember that most of the negative perceptions we have about people are very wrong. That's because perceptions are seldom based on truth. Often they are based on rumors, misunderstandings.

The way others have treated us affects our perceptions, because we place those feelings others have imprinted on us on people undeserving of such judgment.

So the next time you “Just Don't Care”, remember:

Everybody has somebody who loves them, everybody is worthy of friendship, everybody deserves a chance.

Perceptions Sank the Titanic

"The Titanic" these words bring many thoughts to mind all of which are tied immortally to an avoidable tragic loss of life. This one event changed the world and raised the bar for public safety like no other.

Why did it happen, how could it happen and how do we make sure it never happens again? It was the hope of everyone that the ensuing investigation would bring to light the chain of actions that led to the catastrophic event.

I propose the most important contributor was overlooked and as a result not addressed in the resulting corrective actions. Additionally this contributor is often still overlooked today, some that do see it still do not know what to do with it. It is "Human Behavior Based on Perspective" a root cause analysis is primarily entrenched in cause and effect now this view in itself is not bad but the cause is habitually seen as systems, equipment or leaderships decisions/actions.

But what if you back up the time line a little more and look at what perceptions were the influencers acting on, what pressures were they under, were they external or internal how did they come to that perspective? Now ask yourself knowing the answers to those questions, what would the corrective actions look like now? I expect much different, but what would they be? How do you develop a "Corrective Action" for a "Perception"? 

TOP 5 TOY HAZARDS

According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission the top 5 toy hazards are:

1. Scooters and other Riding Toys – Riding toys, skateboards and in-line skates go fast and falls could be deadly. Helmets and safety gear should be worn at all times and be sized to fit.
2. Small Balls and other Toys with Small Parts – For children younger than age three, avoid toys with small parts, which can cause choking.
3. Balloons - Children under eight yrs. can choke or suffocate on un-inflated or broken balloons. Keep un-inflated balloons from children. Discard broken balloons at once.
4. Magnets – For children under age six, avoid building or play sets with small magnets. If magnets or pieces with magnets are swallowed, serious injuries and/or death can occur.
5. Chargers and Adapters – Charging batteries should be supervised by adults. Chargers and adapters can pose thermal burn hazards to children.

More Info at http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml09/09040.html

Imagine a workplace where everyone follows your policies and procedures because they want to.

A place where:

• supervisors are emotionally invested in their people and those people truly believe their leaders care about them.

• Safe behaviors are consistently reinforced and rewarded everyday.
• Safety and operations work seamlessly together.
• Safety performance is measured by those things that bring real results.
• Management systems are developed and supported by everyone.
• Every dollar you spend on training brings you solid returns on safety and operational performance.
• A place where safety is not an accident.

Its real and it can all be yours, just contact me to find out how. 

When I first started in the Occupational Health and Safety (OHS) field I was a very dogmatic person. I saw everything as black or white and my actions reflected that point of view. I acted as a police officer on patrol would, by pulling people over giving tickets and setting up stakeouts. When I was busy doing paperwork or inspecting equipment in a remote location, I was sure people were breaking the law. After a period of time I began to develop a policeman’s attitude. That is not to say that all law enforcement officers have bad attitudes, it’s just that being exposed to the underbelly of society will eventually cause you to become more pessimistic or guarded. Like them I got to a point of continuous disappointment and I did not trust people to do the right thing without being forced.

This attitude was an unexpected outcome, as it was contrary to my original motivation to enter the field. Because before starting in OHS I was a combat medic then a interdenominational minister, where my personal calling is to save or improve the quality of people’s lives, OHS seemed to fit well with my passions.

It was at this waypoint in my career when I contemplated leaving OHS.. But first I decided to sit down and do a root cause analysis in order to figure out how I had found myself so dissatisfied. It was then I realized I was using my head and not my strongest attribute my heart to lead me. Because I do genuinely care about people and their families, my behavior wasn’t fulfilling that need in my life of service. I now am an advocate of heart centered safety, where we emotionally invest in each other to generate a caring culture, interdependent on every member. I want to foster an environment where leadership actively seeks out ways to understand their workforce and where everyone accepts there role in every incident, with the vision of living a safe lifestyle by incorporating safety into the value stream.

See Through The Fog Caused by The Logic of Experts, and History’s Statistics.

In 786AD a foreman was walking on a jobsite in Aachen Germany, While walking he stopped to talk to three separate men the first man was very pessimistic and sad he seemed over whelmed by his job. When the foreman asked what he did the man replied with a long list of responsibilities, the simplest of which was that he had to lay over 500,000 brick and if any brick wasn't right the whole project would collapse he was sure the due o the complexity the project was doomed to fail.

When the foreman walked up to the second man, he could see that he was very busy and the man barely looked up, he was oblivious to his surrounding and those people working around him. The foreman saw this man's work was ahead of schedule, but the walls he was erecting didn't have the support they needed to keep them from falling over. This was because the other workers couldn't keep up with him. The foreman saw the others were frustrated and when asked they said they continually try to warn him but he refuses to listen and when he does respond he just tells them to catch up. "He just doesn't understand that we have a job which requires more time then his" Said the coworker

When the foreman approached the third man, he greeted him, his spirits were evidently high. His work was on time and his walls were supported. The other workers felt that they were working on one job rather then many smaller projects. The foreman was pleased and he wanted to repeat the same success at all the worksites, so he asked the man what was different and the man said:

"I don't know what's different, but I know when I was recruited for this project I was told that I was chosen to be part of something great. I was told Charlemagne was building the Palatine Chapel. I could not believe my fortune; I was one of the few people in the world who gets to be part of something greater then himself. I get to build something that will be a blessing to families, a place for, marriages, christenings, coronations, and a place where souls can come for comfort. So I guess our secret is that there is no secret, we all recognize this awesome responsibility is a great blessing. We are making the world a better place. I know at times we have problems but we keep ourselves focused on the vision and it gets us through those rough patches"

Sometimes in the fervor of our day to day activities we loose site of the vision (Nobody Gets Hurt) and when it happens we may become despondent. When this happens to me, I remember a quote from Sir Winston Churchill, one that he made during Britton's darkest hour, when devastation surrounded him and many saw eminent defeat on the horizon. But Churchill saw what other great leaders saw when they themselves were in dire situations. He saw because he had vision; his vision caused him to see through the fog caused by the logic of experts, and history's statistics. What he saw was an unobstructed view of possibilities, he recognized that failure was not an option and he said:

"Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense"

Winston Churchill (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)

The Trouble With Kids Today?

The following is one of my toast masters speeches:

I don’t know what is the trouble with kids today? I think it's their strange music, their long hair and they're just lazy. They're all sitting around drinking and complaining about the government. They don't understand the sacrifices and the hardships we endured to give them the freedom they have today, they're just ungrateful.

Statements like this or others similar to it have probably been said for hundreds of years except the music may have been chamber music, Ragtime or even swing. The hardships endured were numerous ranging from the Bubonic Plague to the current war in Afghanistan. 

I propose that each generation affects the following generation, in most cases its positive is a sociological evolutionary process whereby we learn from our mistakes and make changes for the future but ultimately we really never get it right.

When researching the material for competent communication project number seven I realized that this subject is too deep for just one speech. This is why I intend to make this a four-part presentation starting with number seven and ending with number 10 hoping to inspire everybody to do with they can to facilitate and encourage the current generation in making the changes necessary to ensure the success of our country and our grandchildren.

The topic is “Generational Theory” for my research material I purchased two books, “Generations the History of America's Future” and “Generations at Work”. Over the next four speeches you'll learn about the generational cycles, generational archetypes, turnings of the generations and our current position and cycle.

You might ask yourself “Why do I need to know about generations or how does this affect me” to answer your first question, you need to know about the generations so that you can better manage your personnel and understand the differences and the reasons why a person's much younger than you act the way they do. This knowledge will close the generation gap even though the generational differences remain. The second question how does it affect me, these young people today will be the same people tackling important issues and making decisions that will significantly affect our future and way of life. Remember when we are seniors they will be making all the decisions and paying off our debts and possibly deciding if we go into a home or if they pull the plug. So we must understand them now if we hope to influence them down the road.

So let's start with how we define a generation.

Basically a generation is a span or phase of life but not necessarily a lifetime. Take for example, the first 20 years of your life you felt one way the next 20 years of your life you felt different and if you live long enough there will be yet another and so on.

You have probably heard about the “Baby Boomers “or the “Generation Xers“ that’s likely because you fall into one of those categories. If you're young enough you might even be a “millennial”. Some call the millennial generation the “I generation“ the I stands for Internet or information. Basically they have ready access to a plethora of information on virtually any subject and exposure to both pleasant and unpleasant information and images.

Take for example the games they play, these games expose them to a level of violence that boomers never saw unless they had been to war. Some fear that this generation has been desensitized by seeing so much violence. They are worried because some are at the point of when seeing somebody ride his bicycle off the roof of a house and break both his legs and lay on the concrete unconscious, their friends keep the camera rolling. They then post it to the Internet and share it with all their friends and the rest of the world, many of which find it hilarious. This scares the hell out of us boomers, but it's less scary to the Xers and the millennials can hardly see why we make such a big deal about.

Have our children or our children's children gone off the deep end, is our future doomed and what's wrong with kids today? The answer is no, no, and nothing.

As you well learn during the rest of this series, we are cycling between Awakenings and Crisis. Awakenings are basically eras of cultural or religious renewal where society focuses on ethical and or social values. We are currently nearing the end of a crisis cycle. Crises cycles begin during great peril. I offer that 911, Iraq and Afghanistan war, social and the economic uncertainty we experience today has placed us there.

I believe by the end of the series is my hope that you'll agree with William Strauss ,Neil Howe and myself and we say that the current generation “The Millennials” are heroes and they will fulfill their civic duty. With their help our future will be in safe hands and society and way of life is secure. But it's up to us, are we going to make their Job more difficult or are we going to continue to pile the economic and social burdens on them. I hope not for all our sake.